Dude's Night In.

Tough times call for bargains in the kitchen. Take the often overlook Top Round Roast. Some call it a London Broil; which is a snootier sounding name because it's Euro and Broiled..... I, on the other hand just call it a roast. This was a clearance roast from Food Lion I threw in the freezer until Sat Morning..... thawed it in the sink along with some other bacon scraps i dug out of the freezer. The Rub It. Any Dry Rub..... I used some of Uncle John's spices--- it was a mix of your standard rubbing spices: salt, garlic, onion, pepper, cayenne, and something called chardex which J pIe thinks is a product of something charred. Just to be sure the rub didn't fall off, i slapped some of those bacon strips on it.... then i wrapped it in saran and threw it in the fridge for an hour or so......

Bake at 400, uncovered in a roasting pan... if you've got a rack (and not the female kind) you could use that but i don't and i didn't. Flip it after 25 minutes..... roast another 20 and check it.... My meat thermometer read 125 which is what i read online somewhere was for medium.... this was a little more done than medium but not terribly so...... Tent with foil for 15 mins or long enough to bake some steak fries---again a bargain from Food Lion. Oh I should mention this was for a 2.5 lb roast. J-Pie's tiny hand is shown here for size comparisons.

Someone (i.e. the interwebs) once told me the trick to London Broil was the way you slice it.... I'm not certain I got it down yet but i cut across the grain into strips.... this is where you discern the roast from the steak.... sliced on your plate when its time to eat, as opposed to delivering it to you with a steak knife.

Some other side dishes that came out of this endeavor:

1. the tasty oven roasted and beef juice marinated bacon strips.... J-pie couldn't help himself......

2. Meat shots. All that delicious meaty juice shouldn't go to waste. However, it was a little too much for us up there on 2 legs. Jake on the other hand was very appreciative.

The best part---- I've got tasty roast beef strips for sandwiches all week..... Today I nuked 4 strips and put it on a sammy with CoJack, romaine and spicy mustard...... daily heaven.

NEWS you can actually use.....

We all know how the media wears us out with their persistent updates on pointless issues of the day: Brangelina, Your 401k/retirement/stock portfolio going to shyte, McPalin v. O-Biden, Joe the Stripper........... etc.........

Here's a fresh site giving you the lowdown on a perennial TasteMachine fave:
http://bacontoday.com/

Sweatpants Not Included

The '08 T-Machine Summit brought together a distinguished group of taste vetrans that flat out know how to play the game. It was kinda like the Last Supper only we replaced bread and fish w/ bacon and dips...i'm guessing that the wine consumption was probably consistant though.

The Summit kicked off w/ a little fireworks. Mama Machine lost control of the blender while mixin' up her red pepper cheese dip. it was so good i think we used tortilla chips instead of paper towels to clean it up.

As the festival wore on we ditched all electical devices and fired up the grill. I went with the standard procedure of grillin' about 50 Jalap Poppers. Laucher-5000 flew in some Lamb chops that were doused with some ridiculous mid-eastern sweet rub. They...were...awesome.

Eyes grew wide as the feast drew closer.

I present to you....the BACON BOWL. J.P.izza built these tasty bitches. Kind of ironic that we stuffed health into the most unhealthy invention since the McGriddle, but "delicious" knows no boundries.

We didn't get off the gas after the salad course. That's right more swine peeps. Papa Machine slaved all day on the short ribs. Boiled, beat w/ spice rub n brushed w/ bbq sauce. sweet christ they were good. Meat fell of the bone while i fell off my chair.

Pizza went solo on desert. She whipped up some hearty (yet quite delicate) cream puffs. i detected a slight twing of almond while poppin' 3 down my throat. they were a nice topping to the load already percalating in all our guts.

Anticipation is the most delicious falvor

Tomorrow marks the first Tastemachine Southeasterrn Convention. Fire up your salivary glands and whip out the wasabi. The thrills the chills the spills.

The blogosphere is abuzz with the tastes on tap: The early buzz is:

cow pig lamb

bean cheese

air.


Stay tuned for more details.....

flashin' some meat signs

The pacific northwest t-machine squad is representin' hard core. Heatstroker sent me this to me. He made this enormous freakin' meat sign for a local business. took two people to hold the dam thing up. u apparently take your fresh kill to this joint and they whack n wrap it to your liking. what a sweet job...slingin' tenderloins n t-bones around all day...where do i sign.

"THIS IS HOW DO IT..."

Found this pic of "Taylor Lagasse" floatin around on the web. looks like a 4 year old kid on christmas morning. i don't think there there is an item on that skillet that ain't fried or marinated in 3 sticks of butter. keep up the good work kid.

Tate Hits the Big Time!

"Finally", a member of the Taste Machine gets the recognition so deserved! Maybe we should now re-name this the "TATE MACHINE". It's refreshing to see that the staff at CWU recognized Tate's commitment to cuisine.

Heart of Rock n Roll

the Summer of Heat n Meat continues to roll on. this was an epic day for the carolina t-machinists. J.P. snagged one of the sweetest Magnavox floor model vinyl players i've ever seen at the thrift store. first record laid down the beauty...that's right "Huey Lewis and the News - Sport". thing works like a charm...huey was soundin like a slightly muffled Jesus when we spun him through it.

then it was time to eat. steak n chicken kabobs drew some Arseno Hall dog pound fist pumps when they stepped off the grill. and the Laucher-5000 squad brought a few mouthwatering chicken n sage sausages to the parade, topped em with a wicked mix of coleslaw and ranch....BINGO!

the night was capped by a little pastry, straight outta the mind of mrs. horner. she really hit a 4 bagger with this fresh peach pocket. rammed the peaches right in some puff pastry n topped it with a little vanilla bean cream. it was like cuttin into a brick of gold...all shiny and exciting.

Laucher-5000 was AMPED!!!

Sweet Jabari's

The Sweet Jabari wing are a gods gift to any tounge they encounter. For the Tastemachine Charlotte sect these wings are a IT and can be found at Sir Edmund Halley's pub located in a basement of a shitty 70's strip mall.
We've throughly investigated these delictable little appendages and have learned that this wing recipe is a secret held by the chef. who's name is appropriatly Jabari. we demanded to see his face one very loud drunken night...large quiet man of island decent. we thanked him, he told us a funny joke and then strolled back into his labratory. i was speechless... i just met the Babe Ruth of wing slingers for christ sakes.
the taste of the Jabari wing is nearly indescribable. all i'll say is that they create a whimsicle mix of sweet n sour spicy sauce and burnt specs of charcoal. dudes, if Diary Queen added a dolup of ice cream to these kids, they'd have a wicked "Meat Blizzard" on their hands. un-MF'in-real.



I've thrown myself at these wings 6 to 8 times now and am astonished that every single time they arrive they are cooked, look, and taste EXACTLY the same...and that's all any sane carnivore can really ask for.

I wish I'd have thought of this.....

http://buzzfeed.com/jonah/doughnut-bacon-burger